Torque & Trauma
About
Torque & Trauma is a raw, darkly honest memoir about childhood abuse, PTSD, and the lasting impact trauma has on men long after they’ve learned how to hide it.
Written by a retired U.S. Air Force mechanic, this military memoir explores how unresolved childhood trauma follows men into adulthood—into careers, marriage, fatherhood, and identity. It’s not a self-help book. It’s a true story about survival, denial, dark humor, and the hard truth that “manning up” doesn’t fix mental health.
After twenty years of military service maintaining F-15 and F-22 fighter jets, Chad Calahan knew pressure, responsibility, and discipline. What he didn’t understand—until later—was how childhood abuse and PTSD were shaping his reactions, relationships, and coping mechanisms behind the scenes.
This trauma memoir speaks directly to men who carry invisible wounds:
- Men struggling with PTSD, anxiety, or suppressed trauma
- Veterans adjusting to life after military service
- Readers of military memoirs, mental health books, and men’s nonfiction
- Anyone raised in abuse, neglect, or emotional chaos
This book is not inspirational fluff.
It’s an unfiltered mental health memoir that blends dark humor with brutal honesty—written for men who’ve been told to stay quiet, tough it out, or bury the past.
Torque & Trauma doesn’t offer quick fixes or motivational clichés. It offers recognition, truth, and proof that healing from trauma is possible—even if it’s uncomfortable, imperfect, and sarcastic along the way.
If you’re looking for a memoir about PTSD, childhood trauma, military life, or men’s mental health that actually tells the truth, this book is for you.
Praise for this book
Torque and Trauma is unlike any memoir I’ve read before. Chad Calahan writes with the grit of a veteran and the openness of someone who has lived through pain but refuses to let it define him. His story moves between the unforgiving pace of life on the flightline and the hidden battles that come with PTSD and unresolved childhood wounds. What struck me most was Calahan’s honesty. He doesn’t sugarcoat the toll of trauma, nor does he present healing as a simple or quick process. Instead, he shows the reality—the setbacks, the anger, and the courage it takes to keep moving forward. For men especially, who are so often told to stay silent about their struggles, his voice is both relatable and deeply necessary. This book is not just about the military or PTSD—it’s about resilience, facing the weight of the past, and daring to believe in the possibility of healing. Calahan’s willingness to be vulnerable gives others permission to do the same, and that is what makes Torque and Trauma such a meaningful read.
As the daughter of an Air Force Colonel, I feel like this book reflected my own household. I saw my father demonstrate strength paired with silence, duty making pain, and a search for purpose after he retired.
The military has a toxic culture of expecting men to push through, never bend, and never break but the author shows that real strength lies in vulnerability and the willingness to heal.
This book was both a validation of my upbringing and an invitation to to continue conversations about mental health and resilience in the military community and it reminds us that service is not just about what happens on the battlefield but to support ourselves and each other long after the mission ends.
If you've ever felt like you had to be the strong one, this incredible memoir by Chad Calahan is the book you need to read right now. Calahan, a long time service member, takes you onto the flightline, but he quickly dives into the raw reality of childhood trauma, loss, and deployments. This isn't just a story about jets; it's a gut-punch honest look at confronting PTSD and learning that vulnerability is the real sign of strength. He lays bare the struggles many men face when they're told to "suck it up," offering a truly hopeful roadmap toward emotional healing. I strongly recommend this to every veteran, active-duty service member, or anyone who carries invisible scars from their past. Grab this book if you know the struggle of fixing everything but yourself. As someone who has family members that had been in the service, i wish they could have had a book like this when they were alive.
Amazing read spanning from the perspective of a child in a broken abusive home and his journey into adulthood and through a military career. Gives lots of examples of coping and healing mechanisms that can be used to overcome trauma to be happy and successful in life. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel and there is always good to be found in people and situations. Highly recommend this read!